


Never.

by Shay_Nioum



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Janus almost dies, Near Death Experiences, Platonic Dukeceit - Freeform, Remus cares about Janus, Remus has a lot of feelings, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25008961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: It was an accident.That’s how it always happened, there was an accident and it was his fault.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 11
Kudos: 138





	Never.

It was an accident.

That’s how it always happened, there was an accident and it was his fault.

No matter how much Janus would claim that it wasn’t his fault, Remus knew… he knew that it was his fault. It was his side of the imagination, it was his creation that had sought Janus out as fresh meat, and it was him who was desperately holding Janus together as those red-stained gloves desperately clung to the front of his shirt. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know. 

He’s not the smart one. He’s not vigilant one. He’s not the caring one. He’s not… he’s not the heroic one.

Not by any means. 

"Remus?" Janus asked and Remus’ eyes are on him in an instant, his voice warbling as his aching neck struggled to hold up the weight of his head as he looked up at the other side. He felt exhausted, like every emotion that could run through his body has run it's course and left him entirely empty. 

He feels like dead weight in Remus' arms.

Dead. Dead. Dead. De- 

Remus' shaking fingers haphazardly pushed Janus' messy locks out of his face, so that the other side can get a better look at him. He knows that it’s useless. "What is it Jan-Bug? I'm right here, I promise. I’m not going to go anywhere. You’re not alone, I’m here. Grossness and all. It's okay..." The ordinarily smile that he’s so used to on his face feels like an ill-fitting mask, he’s sure that Janus can see right through it just like he always can when Remus gets into one of his moods. 

He hopes Janus can’t see it now, that he can’t see the sheer desperation that has locked his legs from moving an inch to where Janus fell. 

"Am I going to die?" 

And just like that everything inside of Remus froze in an instant.

Everything inside of him twisted, like saucy spaghetti around the prongs of a fork. 

From his heart down to his lowermost organ, that left him feeling as if he couldn't even breathe. His lungs sat inside of his chest like a dead weight, struggling just to heave even the slightest little breath. It made his entire chest feel as if it were burning alive with him unable to do a single thing, his veins burned with a liquid fire that stung his eyes and made them water all at the same time. 

Images flashed in his mind, images that he couldn't just force himself not to see. 

Images of Janus' unmoving body far too pale for his usually cold-blooded friend who needed warmth in his every waking moment to look like he was kissed by the sun. Unseeing and unmoving. Images of him spread out before him with the knowledge that it was very much his fault that Janus was like this, that.. that there would be no more fun days, that there would be no one else to see him like Janus sees him, and that... Janus would never breathe and never smile that crooked fangy smile ever again. The smile that brought even the slightest fraction of sunlight into his life. It would all be gone without Janus. 

Just... Gone. 

"No," Remus snarled, his sharp teeth bared at something invisible. "I am not going to let you die." 

He means it. 

Gods, he means it more than anything he's ever meant in his entire existence. He will not let Janus die here, he won't let him grow cold, and he won't.. he most certainly will not leave him. 

Wherever Janus goes, Remus will follow. 

Without so much as a second thought, he shovels his bloodstained hands under Janus limp and prone body scooping him up as he weighed no more than just a bunch of grapes. He can’t help but to grimace a little as Janus’ hatless head thumps solidly against his chest and doesn’t move, but he doesn’t say a word about it. Janus shouldn’t move, he needs to preserve his strength and moving would just use it all up. Like a dried raisin. The other side’s hand is still grasping his shirt, and that is all that he really needs to know that Janus is still okay. As long as he has that stellar grip, then Remus will keep going. 

He’ll keep going so long as Janus does. 

He needs him.. He needs him… He needs him to stay alive. More than anything he’s ever needed in his entire life. He needs him. He needs Janus to be here. He needs… He needs Janus. 

He needs him. 

The hand gripping the front of his shirt spasms as Remus stumbles over a large crack in the ground, where absolutely nothing can be seen. “Rem’s…” Janus mumbles against his chest his snake eye struggling to stay open and focused on Remus’ crooked mustache as the pace once again resumes, his words are steadily coming out more and more slurred than before. It’s not a good sign. “ ‘M cold…” 

His grip on Janus becomes almost crushing in that one instant, and without even thinking about it the pace that could have been considered a fast walk became a sprint in a dead second. 

His legs ache, and he doesn’t care. His lungs burn, and he honestly couldn’t give two shits about it. His head is spinning like a top on a table, and he doesn’t fucking care. The tears are blinding him as he runs, burning his eyes as the sobs erupt out of his chest like a volcano seconds from spewing ash everywhere… he doesn’t care. He’ll never care about anything ever again, if he doesn’t get Janus to the other side of the imagination. Never. Never ever. 

“It’s okay!” He chokes out, the words clogging his throat, before he can even think about saying them. “I promise, soon you’ll feel better. You’ll never feel cold again. I’ll make you every heating blanket that you need, I’ll make sure that every room has a warm rock, and I’ll make sure that the thermometer never goes below seventy. I promise!” It doesn’t even seem to register with Remus that he’s screaming these words as he’s running, and it doesn’t seem to register that Janus’ eyes have already slipped shut. “Please don’t go.” He whimpers, he fucking whimpers, because it’s the only thing that he can even think to say to someone who means so much to him. “Please don’t leave me alone.” 

And like a boar crashing through an antique store, he breaches the edge of the imagination. Or at least his side, that feels like a heavy smog. His side that’s full of all the nasty side effects that Roman doesn’t have, no injury will exist on Roman’s side, no matter how life-threatening. 

So… He sits.

And he waits, until Janus grips his shirt a little bit tighter and until Janus finally opens his eyes. 

Because he isn’t going to leave, he isn’t going to leave his friend. 

No matter what. 

  
  



End file.
